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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28872702">stay with me (hange x reader)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinojblue/pseuds/rinojblue'>rinojblue</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Canon Non-Binary Character, Comfort, Crying, Established Relationship, Fanfiction, Fear, Fear of Death, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Gender-Neutral Hange Zoë, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Genderfluid Character, Multi, Singing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 06:53:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,728</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28872702</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/rinojblue/pseuds/rinojblue</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"i owe you my life many times over. i'm here now. feel me here, in this moment. you can free yourself from all those terrors, if only for a little while, in my arms."</p><p>hange puts a lot of pressure on themselves. a cuddle session leads to a confession of vulnerability, and an emotional outpouring.<br/>(they/them pronouns used for hange !!)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hange Zoë &amp; Reader, Hange Zoë/Reader, Hanji Zoe/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>153</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>stay with me (hange x reader)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hange simps come get y'all juice!! first work on ao3,,completely self indulgent but i'd like to add to the small pool of hange content here! this one's not Too angsty (i think), but lots of feelsssss</p><p>they/them pronouns are used for hange here, and most likely in future works as well. the title "stay with me" is named after the song of the same name by miki matsubara, w/ a few lyrics included in the fic. enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hey Han~!" you called from the bathroom.<br/>
"Hm? You called, love?" they replied, their voice faintly growing nearer to the door. You soon saw their head poke around the frame, followed by their high ponytail swishing behind. You couldn't help but smile at the person that kept you going every day. Hange's own expression brightened in response. </p><p>"What's gotten you all smiley tonight?" they questioned playfully, coming to stand behind you in the mirror. Hange wrapped their arms around your waist and nuzzled their face in the crook of your shoulder. "Special plans? A hot date?" they teased. </p><p>You rolled your eyes, but couldn't contain an even wider grin that grew on your face. "Of course not, you big dope," you giggled. Your retort was met with a nip at your neck and a light squeeze at your side. "That is, unless you've made plans for tonight?" you added. </p><p>"Ah, yes! I've certainly got plans," Hange sang. You raised an eyebrow at them in the mirror. "And they start with <em>you</em> coming to bed," they said, holding you a bit closer.  You relaxed in their arms, breathing in their cozy scent. </p><p>"Mm, okay, I'm coming." You allowed Hange to lead you out of the bathroom into their bedroom. It was more or less the same layout as their office, except with a bed replacing a desk, and minus the large windows. You both climbed into bed on top of the covers and relaxed. A few moments passed in comfortable silence as you both sank lightly into the plush pillows. </p><p>"(Y/n), my dear, can you do something for me?" Hange asked.<br/>
"Of course, Han, what's up?"<br/>
"Could you...can you hold me, please?" You furrowed your brows slightly in confusion. Hold them? Why would they have to ask for something like that? </p><p>"You know I'll hold you, love. Is there a certain cuddle position you want to try?" you inquired. You wondered why they still asked for things like this since you'd been together for a while now. </p><p>"I'd like it if I could curl up to your side, and you hold my head to your chest...the way I held you after our first expedition? I...want to..." they trailed off, mumbling the last bit of their request.<br/>
"Hm? Sorry, I didn't catch the last bit of that," you said, a little worried. "Are you alright, Han? You seem distant. Apprehensive, even."<br/>
"Ah, I said," they began, looking into your eyes now, "I want to...feel your heartbeat. I want to hear it right in my ear with the gentle rise and fall of your chest." </p><p>You were a bit stunned at Hange's sudden profoundness but found it endearing. "Yeah, I can do that, sweetheart. Come here," you patted higher up on the bed next to you, even closer to where you laid. "Get comfy," you beckoned. Hange sure enough curled up to your right side, laid their head on your chest, and rested an arm across your waist. You both took a deep breath in sync, settling into the position. </p><p>"Yknow we could do this anytime, you don't have to ask, Han." They heaved a deep, shuddering sigh. </p><p>"I know, but...I'm scared. I'm scared that now that I've spoken my desire, it might be the only time I get to experience this with you. We've both lost so much, so suddenly...I don't know what I'd do if I lost you. I couldn't bear to lose you." Hange paused for a moment to pull you even more snug at the waist. "I'm scared I won't get another chance to hold you like this, to really feel you. To know for sure that you're here, safe in my arms like I've vowed myself to keep you." </p><p>Hange had dropped their normal lilting tone of voice and settled into a deeper, more serious one. You ran your hands softly through their hair to let them know you were listening and encouraged them to continue. </p><p>"We have another expedition coming up. I've been having the most terrible thoughts and nightmares but never told you because," Hange sighed again. "I'm supposed to be strong. If I can't be strong, then how can I trust myself to protect you? I just...every day the anxiety builds, and even though you're always here I get to overthinking and, what if, yknow? What if I come back from the next mission, or the one after that, and you're missing from the squad? Or worse yet, <em>I'm</em> the one missing. I've never feared death...but I'm terrified of losing you. And I'd never forgive myself if I ever...left you behind." Hange paused once again as their voice faltered. </p><p>You heard a small sniffle, and your chest tightened. It hurt to see them hurting like this, after bottling up all their fear and worry for so long. You held them tightly, a hand gently holding their head even closer to you. Your other hand rested on their back, rubbing slow, soothing circles. There was another sniff from Hange and you felt them start to tremble slightly. </p><p>"Hange, my love," you whispered, your own voice feeling smaller. "Not a day goes by where I don't wonder if it's our last together. But, my love, please don't hold all your troubles in. I know that's easier said than done. I know you want to be strong. You've got such a big title, a big persona...it's okay to let it all come down when you need to. You don't have to be strong for me. The truth is, you can't always protect me, and that's okay. You're already more than enough, and honestly, I owe you my life many times over. I'm here, now. Feel me here, in this moment. You can free yourself from all those terrors, if only for a little while, in my arms. You're under so much pressure, in such big shoes to fill, that you've forgotten how to be small sometimes, Han. It's alright to be small, to be fragile and let your walls come down. I'm here, and I'm going to help you, darling." More sniffles, and Hange was trembling even more now. </p><p>"Hange, angel...look at me, please," you cooed. They peeked up at you slowly. Hange's eyes were starting to glaze with oncoming tears and their brows were drawn up in hurt. You placed your left hand under their chin, then planted the softest of lingering kisses on their forehead. You stayed there for a moment. </p><p>"My love," you murmured, looking directly into their eyes. Hange made the smallest whimpering sound, and your voice broke along with your heart, saying, "<em>let go</em>." </p><p>You watched as Hange's face contorted into a look of pure anguish, their eyes filling rapidly with tears, and trembling turned to full shaking. They buried their face deeper into your chest and you turned to cradle them as their cries turned to audible, heart-wrenching sobs. You continued rubbing circles on their back as they clung to you like an anchor in flood waters. </p><p>Hange was a mess of soaking tears and slightly incoherent sobs, but you didn't mind. They deserved to finally let out all their stress, no matter how raw or messy they were. You murmured small praises and gentle encouragement to console Hange as much as you could. </p><p>"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry," they managed to choke out. "I didn't...I didn't want to break down like this. It wasn't supposed to get this...this bad," they said between cries.<br/>
"No, no Han don't apologize. I've got you, this is perfectly okay," you reassured. "Let it out, love." </p><p>You thought of another way to comfort them: you'd sing to them. The song you danced with them to on late nights when you still had energy, when you were alone and needed an escape-- maybe they'd feel a sense of freedom from it now. You switched from rubbing their back to messing with their hair again, taking down the ponytail as you began to sing slowly. </p><p><em>To you... yes, my love to you<br/>
yes my love to you you, to you<br/>
I am only me. You are only you.</em> </p><p>Once the ponytail was taken down, you gently mussed Hange's hair, shaking it lightly before combing through it with your fingers. </p><p><em>Stay with me...<br/>
Knocking on midnight's door.<br/>
I beg you not to go home tonight.<br/>
The season's right in front of our eyes.</em> </p><p>Hange's crying died down a bit as they settled into a ragged, heavy breathing pattern. You could feel their tears soaked through your night shirt and the fabric clung to your skin. There were small tangles in Hange's hair they likely missed while brushing, which brought a small smile to your face. You'd have to wash and detangle their hair thoroughly later. </p><p><em>Uttering our favorite words,<br/>
Holding on to our little moment.<br/>
I'll never forget it as long as I live.</em> </p><p>Hange's breathing eventually slowed, leading you to believe they'd begun to tire themself out. You switched from singing to humming in an attempt to softly lull your partner to sleep, still running your hands through their thick mane. </p><p>"(Y/n)," Hange whispered.<br/>
"Hm?" They looked up at you once again, giving you an opportunity to slip their small goggles off their forehead.<br/>
"I still want to keep you safe," they half-mumbled.<br/>
"As long as you let me take care of you, love," you replied, leaving a kiss in the spot their goggles had occupied. "Now, it's time you got some real rest."<br/>
"But I still want to hear your pretty voice," they whined. You chuckled and felt your face flush at the small compliment. Hange was already coming back to their flirty self.<br/>
"I'll be singing to you in your dreams, dear. For now, let yourself drift off, alright?" </p><p>Hange responded with an affirmative sound along the lines of "Mhmf," which let you know they were already on their way. You sighed, content that they'd have a chance to sleep with less fear shrouding their mind. Another deep breath escaped you as you returned to humming, singing a few lines occasionally. Despite the anxieties plaguing your lover, you were dedicated to ensuring them a safe, satisfying sleep at times like this. </p><p>"I adore you, Hange." Your words were met with a blanketing silence, save for Hange's soft, even breaths.</p>
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